I had the luxury today of going to lunch with my teacher, and my friend. She has taught me so many things as she has taught tens of thousands of other students. She teaches me in so many ways! One of the arts that she has helped me master in the last few years is to “hold space”. As a healer and an empath, my impulse has to jump in to help someone, with out judgement, without boundaries, and sometimes without a life preserver! yikes!
The art of holding space is not about jumping in full-throttle healer, it is about holding the energy, listening, not judging. Holding the space for them to be safe, let go for just a bit. And most importantly, not offering advise. I see so many of my friends who are just coming about to the natural way of being and someone puts a post on FB about not feeling well, there they go offering up their home remedies for said malady. If we all had a dollar for every time someone said, “you know what you ought to do…” It is not that the advise is not valid, it is the fact that it was not sought. What was sought was the space to feel the pain. If they wanted advise on what to do, they would have posted that they are not feeling well, and followed that with any advise?
I have always said advise given not asked for is a form of abuse.
When we hold the energy, we hold the space, we ground, and offer ourself as a grounding tool and hold that safe space. You are there, you listen, and maybe even move some of the negative energy away from them. To do this, your emotions, ego, and judgments have been left at the door. Just be there for them while they work through their process. If you are a teacher or a parent, then you are moreso obligated to offer your advise, but remember you can hold the space first and offer your advise with the harshness of a feather. It is funny how a whisper can be the loudest words heard.
So as me and Starr spent the day together, we held space for one another. It is a very healing thing we can do for one another. If you are in the healing profession, and you hold space for others, it is important that you have someone who will hold space for you.
Remember to hold space for yourself, you health, and your mind. Hold space for your loved ones. Hold the space for your path.